RADA

Looking Backward to Impel us Forward

I thought now would be an appropriate time to review what has been utterly amazing year personally and artistically. A brief walk through the year's events mentally caused me to pause in wonder at just how much one can accomplish in as short a time as a year.

January - In the throes of the MA, I also took on projects outside the course. Performed with the hit You Me Bum Bum Train in the West End, an immersive theatre project which challenged my own conceptions of audience participation - something I had heretofore loathed - edging me toward a desire to unsettle the audience's cocooned experience of theatre.

February - ceaseless creation ensued, and I was busy writing my first play along with directing and interpreting the work of Jean Genet. Explorations in rehearsal for both impelled me to risk at a greater level in my creative endeavors.

March - a whirlwind, I directed a scene in response to Genet, and performed in 4 others for fellow students on the MA. Had a workshop performance of my own piece of writing Trying, a new sort of out-of-body experience, even more unnerving than directing. Created a performance art installation Autel which showed at RADA to great success. And finally, if that wasn't enough, co-directed Ludus Daniellis in full medieval Latin at King's College, London.

April & May - Dove into research and preparation for my dissertation, as well as rehearsals for the other pieces I was contributing to. Presented my work at a conference of art historians, sharing my creative response to The Duchess of Malfi called Forc'd To Woo.

June - performed in a piece of promenade one-on-one theatre called How We Met, written by colleagues at RADA Eleanor Massie and Holly Bragg. This piece fed into ideas I had already been having for pieces to create at home, and will crop up again in some work commissioned for 2013.

July - Performed and created my own dissertation piece No More Prayers, and also performed for two others - Nil by Mouth by Holly Sharp and Between Sand and Stars by Dena Rysdam-Miller. I have performed and created work under pressure many times in the past, however nothing was comparable to the intensity of this period, absurd attention to detail and aggressive pursuit of clarity in my artistic vision.

August - With the performances completed, I dove into the writing of my final dissertation paper - a 10,000 word artistic statement and critique of my performed work. The process for writing this was arduous, but rewarding overall, as I found it extremely useful to dig through my own creation and defend it in such a rigorous fashion.

September - Directed 4 staged readings for FemFest 2012, having returned to Winnipeg. Had a fabulous re-immersion to the Winnipeg theatre community, also beginning new contracts teaching at Prairie Theatre Exchange School.

October - my performance installation from earlier in the year at RADA, Autel, was selected to be part of a group installation at the Gas Station Arts Centre, running to the first week of January 2013. This was an amazing experience, the first time I had participated in a show in a non-performance based way.

November - finalizing the script for my latest play Dear Mama (which premieres on 17 January 2013) I began developmental work with my director Megan Andres to finalize the script. Also had the opportunity to re-ignite work on a show from 2011 Dionysus is Getting Impatient, which I was part of creating with I was part of creating with Theatre Incarnate.

December - as the best christmas present possible, learned mid-month that I have officially graduated RADA and the University of London with  Distinction. If this weren't enough, I had the fabulous opportunity to be part of a reading for Winnipeg's Theatre By the River for their annual holiday fundraiser.

And now for 2013, onward and upward! Dear Mama opens in mid-January, after which I expect to dive into a few other projects not yet mentioned here. I am eternally grateful for the year I have had, and look heartily forward to further opportunity in 2013!

Crossroads

Earlier this week results from the MA were released. I am pleased to share that I have officially graduated from the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art and Birkbeck, University of London, with a grade of Distinction! For anyone who follows the blog, the past year has been a rollercoaster ride of massive proportions. Loads of work, so much creation and exploration, and unbelievable experiences, all of which have culminated in this final grade. Reflecting now, I always knew this year would be huge, however even my enormous expectations were surpassed. 

And as the title suggests, I'm at a crossroads - exiting student life (again) and emerging into the creative world unsheltered by school and supportive tutors. My first true foray will be Dear Mama, which opens on 17 January at Studio 320. Nothing like diving in head first! Writing is nearly complete, anything more will be explorations in the studio, and rehearsals begin in earnest tomorrow. 

Will do my best to blog on the rehearsal process. This will be the first time my creation will be directed by someone else, and I am extremely excited at the prospect of having someone else's creative input on my work. If I've learned anything in the past year, it is that collaboration is at the heart of all truly interesting work - our inspiration comes from the people and world around us, so deny nothing. 

More soon!

The time to hesitate is through

We are here. After months of angst, tears, sweat, more reading than you can imagine, and rehearsals upon rehearsals, we are in our final week at RADA. I can't actually believe that I am here. It honestly feels like mere weeks ago that we were all crammed into the tiny basement studio on the first day, receiving our RADA booklets and cautiously selecting whether we would do scene study with Tom or Andrew.

I have learned so much about myself in this year. I have learned that I can make some pretty interesting theatrical pieces. I have learned that I can maybe, sort of, write a little. I have learned that the times when I feel most comfortable about a piece of work, those are the times when I haven't done enought. I have learned that I really like to scare myself into action. I have also learned from (and with) some of the most brilliant and talented people I have ever had the opportunity to be in the same room as. Tutors, obviously, but more importantly my fellow students, whose intellect, bravery, and talent have pushed me to become a better artist every minute of every day. I only wish that we could stay together and create work, rather than scatter the globe as we are bound to do. I will do everything possible to work with each of them again in the future.

So. . . as the title states, the time to hesitate is through. Dissertation performances are underway. I am assisting by performing in two presentations; Dena Rysdam Miller's adaptation of The Little Prince, and Holly Sharp's devised piece Nil by Mouth, about mental illness. I will also be reading a new play in development for Nika Obdizinski.

Largest looming in my future is my own piece - No More Prayers - an interrogation of Antigone through dramatic and philosophical history. Creating this piece has been a rollercoaster, and it has morphed to something completely different from what I first imagined, although simultaneously it continues to be an embodiment of that first seed of an idea. The piece I have ended up with is (I hope) the start of something bigger, that will continue and develop into a full production down the road. Thursday will be a "first viewing" for the work-in-progress, and I hope to share some photos and video of the presentation as well as the subsequent Q&A.

For all intents and purposes, the blog will be dark until mid next week, at which time I will try to make sense of this all. And wrap my head around the final written aspect of the dissertation, not to mention my impending move back to Canada and everything that entails.

In other news, I can happily announce that I will be directing a handful of readings for new plays at Sarasvati FemFest in September (Winnipeg) and will also be developing a piece titled Dear Mama, inspired by Sondheim's Gypsy for the RMTC SondheimFest in early 2013 (Winnipeg). More on those later, once I regain sanity.

Image: Cindy Sherman, Untitled 175

Review - Cymbeline at RADA

Sometimes, directors make choices to situate a play in a specific place or time, and despite the many logical choices that may ensue, it simply doesn't work for the play. This production was almost completely opposite; picking up on various themes in the words of the text, the production was placed in a no-space, where all objects necessary appeared at the right time, rooms and spaces appeared, and seemingly insane costume or character choices just seemed to work, despite my inability to comprehend them from time to time. It is very rare that a director can make choices that appear so arbitrary, and yet the audience are completely willing to buy and go along with it.

The piece, running a solid 2.5 hrs with no interval, was a marathon for the performers, who each played multiple parts, sang scene changes, and had an epic danced battle between the Romans and Britons. The performances were not uniformly strong, however overall the ensemble shone and worked extremely well together as a cohesive unit.

A very enjoyable afternoon of theatre.

Review - Stars in the Morning Sky by Alexander Galin @ RADA

Set in Russia in the 1980s, just prior to the Moscow Olympics, this play is focused around "undesirables" whom are shipped out of the city for the period of the games, to ensure that Communist Russia shows well to the world. It isn't much of a stretch to bring this topic to relevance today, in London, where although I haven't read about it, this must be happening. Even Winnipeg, when hosting the Pan American games in 1999 mysteriously had no homeless people on the streets for the duration of the games.

The play begins with a scene in Russian, which we then see re-done in English, to great effect. The remainder of the play is in (mainly) lower class English accents, making the above association even stronger. These women - prostitutes from the streets of Moscow - are shipped off to an awful countryside "rooming house" to sit out the games and stay out of trouble.

Overall the performances and direction were good, and I did find myself apsorbed in the play. Accents did at times wobble into RP, and it is these moments in which I found myself falling out of synch with the piece. As well, the build to the final scene of anarchy seemed rather sudden; the movement of the play from polite interaction to wild drunken revolt did not build to a boil, instead seeming to flash fry. I suspect it would have been more effective if this built over time, so that the audience feel pulled along with the revolt that would soon characterize all of Russian society as the USSR broke up. This is a great ensemble piece, with strong parts for 5 women and small-ish parts for two men.

The design and use of space were clever, using the audience aisle to position the door and outside behind the audience, moving our focus. Once again, the lighting design is stand out - there are some seriously talented lighting designers studying at RADA right now.

The British 10k - 8 July

Time for me to ask something of you readers (and lurkers) - I am running the British 10k in London on July 8th in support of RADA scholarships, and am looking for donations. Any of you lurkers who are artists know how horribly expensive school can be, and how few scholarships there are for arts students. Fundraising from this will help with the Hardship fund at the school, and for creating future scholarships for students.

You can donate here: http://www.justgiving.com/Kendra-Jones

Any amount is greatly appreciated, as it all adds up. Thank you in advance for any support you can offer!

Head is Swirling

An MA dissertation in any form is a challenging prospect. One in which you will be not only researching a subject, but creating a response to it theatrically as well as writing on it academically is an entirely new level of challenge.

Things I am learning:

1) I really like to research. To a fault. There comes a point where reading yet another version of Antigone (or reading it again for the 100th time), watching anther German Opera version, or listening to another random lecture from the RA about any painter ever to have lived is just not going to do anything. You need to create. You need to put down the books and get up in the studio and just see what comes out. I am approaching this point now.

2) I have a tendency to want everything to fit to a plan, but at the same time happen randomly. The two are not compatible. I have been hit with two major setbacks to my plan - in the form of casting issues which were first solved, then sort of solved, then not solved at all - both of which had me reeling last week. Several hours we spent lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, surrounded by my iPad and copies of the play, listening to intense music whilst wondering what to do. I do learn the most from these things though; the times when my left and right brain are battling it out over order versus chaos are the times when the most remarkable ideas come out.

3) The play has the answer. It always has the answer, you just have to give it time to tell you. Luckily, I had the time in this instance, and didn't end up staying up nights bawling at my lack of options.

So, phase 1 of the dissertation approach (reading like a maniac) is coming to a close. My first workshop to lead will be in just over a week, and I am looking forward to just playing. It is funny that when reading, I get so many ideas, mostly in the form of physical images in my head, all of which seem to be contrary to the last. Right now there are about 50 "moments" I have imagined. The first 3 workshops will be a chance to try these out, see what actually works physically and with text or music, and then I will go away to try to piece together the first draft of a piece. Then I will come back for 3 more workshops to sew it together and share it on the 19th of July at RADA.

From here, oodles of reflection on the process, writing to pull in all the inspiration and thoughts to create the piece along with the future...where does this go now. And more importantly, where do I go after this whirlwind of a year, personally, and artistically.

Reflections in Latin - Ludus Danielis @ King's College London

I spoke briefly about this project in the fall, but in the swarm of work that has occurred since December, haven't spoken much since. This project, based in a long-term relationship RADA has had with King's College London, is an opportunity for MA Text & Performance students to direct a production populated by MA Latin students at King's. Outside of the play selection, the date, the location, and the necessity not to cut any of the latin text, the directors are given free reign on how to proceed.

Our play was Ludus Danielis - the story of Daniel - the c.1140 Beauvais play, in Medieval Latin and French. The location: the beautiful King's College Chapel inside the Strand Campus. So far, so good. Three of us from the MA T&P volunteered, and agreed to work together to co-direct the piece. This worked remarkably well, as each of us had the chance to jump in on areas where we were most interested or expert, allowing the overall production to have a very lively feel; a major accomplishment with an 800 year old play in a language very few speak or understand.

Our decision was to approach the story as a fairy tale of sorts; The student actors began as their "normal" selves, coming in as if they, too, were going to see the production. From here, we had 2 magical stagehand/ushers and a musician who weaved them into a magical land, wherein they took on the characters of the Beauvais play, and the play began. With limited cast, we opted to use puppets to populate chorus parts such as nobles or satraps, which traditionally would have been performed by larger choruses. This worked extremely well, adding a slight comic element to the piece. Now, adding comedy to a 12th century liturgical drama might seem odd, however our dramaturgical research uncovered evidence that these plays would have been fun and not purely serious; the role of early liturgical dramatic pieces was to engage the parish in the bible stories in a way that would be fun and exciting, particularly given that few would have understood Latin - much like our present-day audience. Another feature we added was music; a leitmotif was created for each character, which played as they began or ended an important speech or moment. This was in reference to the musical nature of these plays (many would have been fully or partially sung) and also to help the audience follow along with the story.

Overall, the production was a success. Our performers had a fabulous time, and reports from audience members was that the production was highly enjoyable. I look forward to this sort of unusual challenge again.

Photos: Ludus Danielis, directed by Kendra Jones, Cristina Cugliandro and Maria Kivinen
Design by Liv Wright

Trying

Well, the day is here! The play I dared write will have a scene performed at RADA this evening, in the lovely hands of a talented director and 2 talented performers. What a surreal experience, not only having my characters brought to life, but having my text interpreted by a director, seeing how she makes my words come alive.

I was just sitting in a rehearsal, listening to their final work before our workshop presentation, and it was like an out of body experience; I know I wrote these words, and yet performed, it sounds like words that came from someone else.

I look forward to tonight's performance! I will be recording it and will post it up for viewing enjoyment.

Review - The Maids by Jean Genet @ RADA

It almost feels unfair for me to review this, given my intense investigation of Genet these days, but alas, here it is.

We begin with a very traditional setup of Genet's world; a closet with dresses suggesting a time, but of no specific time. Tasteful furniture that would not be out of place today but suggests a certain antiquity. Maids in traditional uniform. And the game begins. The problem, for me, was that the game at once gave the impression that the players did not know where it was at, and at the same time were acutely aware that the game was on. The magic of Genet's play comes in its ability to trick the audience (and the players!) into conviction about the way the world must be, so that when the balloon pops and the game is interrupted there is a moment of utter confusion as to what has just taken place.

The production, as a whole, came across as safe. The Maids should have a seedy underbelly which slowly creeps out from beneath the text as a dangerous and risky game; this came across as a safe role play, for which everyone knew the end, and no real danger was present. I believe that some of this safety was the result of the translation. This was a version by Martin Crimp, which is undeniably English in its translation. With this came a minimalization of the dirt that Genet gives us in the language; we lost the beautifully grotesque image of "drowning in the depths of your stink, in the mists of your swamps" - the visceral quality of the langauge was lost, a factor I hypothesize contributed to the sense of safety in the production. Hearing phrases such as "arouse" in place of "seduce" dialed back the overt and dangerous sexuality in the text.

The performances were adequate, but I would argue unmatched. The sense of similarity between the three characters was lost, replaced by an individuality which detracts from Genet's power.

One hurdle

My dissertation proposal has been approved!! Sparing you the boring academic bibliography bit, here it is in a nutshell. You can look forward to many obsessive posts on this subject in the future.

Introduction
The aim of this dissertation is to use a performance-based approach to understand questions of identity for the performer when approaching historical texts. Marvin Carlson argues in The Haunted Stage that audiences bring with them the history of a performance, so are never simply watching the performance in front of them; instead, they are seeing the current performer, all previous performers, and their ideal version of the character. This supposition is problematic artistically, as it creates a barrier of communication; added filters through which the artistic message of a piece needs to permeate. Using Sartre's ideas of Being and Perception in Being and Nothingness as a starting point (to be is to be perceived), I will examine perception of a performer and perception of a character as they are mediated through re-writes of the same story in different contexts. The filters of audience context and re-imagined characters interplay to impact engagement with the work; I endeavor to explore how these filters function in performance, and what can be done from a creative perspective to counteract them or make use of them. I have selected Antigone as my base text as she is a familiar character in Western mythology, and through history, particularly in the 20th and 21st centuries, has been re-written numerous times, each instance changing the character of Antigone to serve the time. My goal is to develop, through workshopped performance, key findings on approaches that will aid the director in using these filters in a positive creative manner when creating work.

Key Research Questions
What being is perceived when audiences see a performance?
What impact do changes in text and context have on audience perception?
How can the practitioner utilize these in production?

Method
Working with 1 male performer and 1 female performer, I will workshop:
Original Antigone - Masked Male performer
Transitional Antigone - Becoming Female
Dionysian Antigone - Music & Opera
Politicized Antigone - 20th Century in Germany (Brecht)
Feminized Antigone - 20th Century in France (Anouilh)
Rebellious Antigone - 20th Century Ireland (Paulin)
Post-Colonial Antigone* - 20th Century Africa & South America (Osofisan, Gambaro, Sanchez)
Who do you see? Antigone's Identity

* Session 7 is subject to change: currently I am struggling to locate a copy of these plays. If I am unable to locate these texts, an alternate will be proposed for this session.

The 8 workshop subjects will serve to create material from which a work in progress performance will be devised. Each workshop will focus on exploring the questions of identity for the performer, using the source texts as a guide, and a physical theatre aesthetic. Within each session we will investigate the layers of performer identity; actor-self, character-self, character-perceived.

Dared to Try

I've mentioned in an earlier blog that despite my misgivings, I am doing one of my sections of this term in Playwriting. This is at once exhilirating and terrifying. Today was our first class, and I will admit feeling sheepish, as the only one in the course who doesn't even slightly see herself as a writer. I can devise (sort of), and I can offer insight, but outside the sphere of choreography, I don't think I can write. The class progressed nicely, easing me into the idea. Our tutor, playwright Lin Coglan, let us know that her goal is to give us the tools of creation; the backbone of technique to help when the creative forces are slow to come, fizzle out, or seem to disappear.

We began with an exercise to look at starting with a character; simple ways in that could help us with a starting point, from which we can get into large picture narratives. Overall I found the process really interesting. It is funny the odd and seemingly incoherent thoughts that come to mind, and then suddenly they pull together as you might never have expected. I am looking very forward to the next class!

I also failed to chat about Scene Study last night, which spent time looking at Artaud, then re-visiting ideas of violence and suffering on stage. I need to do a re-read of Artaud's Theatre and its Double, as our task for the term will be to create a manifesto for the theatre (you know...no big deal, right??). Oh goodness.

Back to it...

Our first day back in the Spring term. Yes, I know it is only just winter, but apparently here in the UK Winter is simply that brief period in December when there are christmas lights on every available surface. Where January in my estimation typically includes horrific winds, large wool coats, and hibernating indoors, January here is around +10, humid, and, apparently, called Spring. Alas, I digress. . .

To speak metaphorically, last term felt like I was walking on one of those sheets they stretch across a pool; uneasy, but familiar territory, with a burst of energy to get through to the end. This term, in its beginning, already feels like a tornado, whirling about with so much information and so many ideas....begging to be put to good use and calmed down. We spent our first class on Genet discussing the man, our first impressions of his plays, and some general themes that come out of them. We also spent considerable time watching and then discussing a BBC interview with the man from the early 1980s, not long before his death in 1986. What we saw in this footage was an artist at his twilight; still glimmering with incisive intelligence and a gripping personality, but struggling against the interviewer, desperately to ensure he is not defined. I believe it was Camus who articulated the existentialist tenet most clearly, when he said of objectivity that "to define me, means I am dead". Watching Genet twist the questions, avoid responding to the directness of the interviewer on certain subjects, and approach the subject of his life with such a coy and playful nature was at once fascinating and confounding.

The Portfolio

Here, as promised, are photos of the portfolio I have created for the Autumn Term at RADA, primarily focused on The Duchess of Malfi. The assignment itself is really rather vague; create a portfolio tracking your response to the course. Scene study specifically, but it should also include references to research and to the other parts of the course. I decided that creating a director's notebook was my way in. I don't know if this is "right" or if it has worked, but I am pretty proud of what I have created, the ideas that have come out of it. And I now, more than ever, want to produce this play!

Decisions

We have had to submit our choices for approaches groups for next term. I had initially wanted voice, but in my email told our course leaders I would be ok with Laban too. I was really torn on this decision. On one hand, I find LABAN and historical dance to be extremely interesting...but with so much history in dance related forms, and being known already as a "movement" person back home, I worried that this wouldn't open up any new doors like voice would. I also liked the idea of creating a voice project, what this might entail. And not to mention, I really love voice work in general. So as I expected may happen, I was put in Laban. And at first I was a little upset...but now have realized that it is going to be immense fun, and I will learn things I haven't seen before, particularly the historical social dance. And my ever-practical brain has recalled that it will give me some ground on which to look for work with theatre companies choreographing historical dance, such as RMTC or the Opera. So I am now feeling good about these things.

Our second approaches choice was between directing and playwriting. I immediately chose directing, mirroring my choice of Scene Study directing, because I do not in any way fancy myself a playwright. The numbers were really lopsided, so some of us who were doing scene study directing too were asked to consider switching. I gave this some serious thought...was I willing to risk an entire module in something that I don't think I am capable of doing with any success? Again, I sat to re-evaluate. I have devised/created work, and choreographed with success, and this too is playwriting. Perhaps I can approach playwriting from this perspective, and hone my voice as a creator, not just as a director. And who knows, maybe I will find I can actually write things. I think back to undergrad and our Style & Genre class, where Per had us write our own monologues...in fact, that didn't go too badly. And it is important to do things that take you outside your comfort zone as an artist; that is how we grow.

So next term I will be doing Directing Scene Study (major module), Laban, Playwriting, and Birkbeck Scene study (major module, audience perspective). I have opted out of the producing course; again here, this would be nice to have, but I don't fancy myself a producer, it is too far removed from creation itself.

Process

After a couple late nights and a lot of collaboration, our group have created our base script for our final Scene Study presentations this term. We are looking at Gender and Power in The Duchess of Malfi, specifically at the triangular relationship between the Duchess, Antonio, and Ferdinand, and pulling in other texts which comment on the nature of this relationship. First, we came up with our list of influencing texts:

The Dog In The Manger - Lope deVega
Boston Marriage - David Mamet
Something Unspoken - Tennessee Williams
Venus and Adonis - William Shakespeare
Top Girls - Caryl Churchill

From here, we sat together and compiled bits of the text from each that we felt might be useful to create a script from. Then, rather than try to battle things out, we each went away and created a script or mock up that used what we felt was useful, splicing the texts together, and thinking about shape. What occurred was remarkable; we came back with 5 scripts that were really 5 versions of the same play. We had used almost the same bits of text, often in the same ways or same places, just varying on the situation or setup.

From this, we sat together and hacked together the proper script, drawing from what each of us had done individually and creating the shape of the piece. We aimed to focus simply on the text, using the language, etc, rather than on things like stage directions or business. Our intention is to workshop what things will look like; who is on stage when, who says what, etc.

We were successful! We presented our concept and script to Tom, and he noted that the script was clear and the use of language was good. He gave us some tips on things that were awkward or not as strong, and also gave us some thoughts about what some of the pieces might mean, encouraging us to look outside the text to other ways of manifesting actions such as "cover her eyes"..which means something very specific, but also very vague.

First workshop is today, we're going to get this thing on its feet.

Review - Ashes and Sand @ RADA

The final production of this Autumn season at RADA was Ashes and Sand. Again, featuring graduate BA students, this show looks into the lives of 4 misbehaving young girls and their police officer friend in modern-day Brighton. The play begins fairly straightforward, however as the complicated relationship between these youths and the officer is developed, the world of the play gets more and more surreal, climaxing with an in-your-face style scene. This is a challenging style to work in, particularly given the huge outbursts required of actors, and I felt that most were handled quite well.

The design was flashy and commercial looking, and I found that the set itself wasn't entirely helpful to the development of the play. The pieces that were moved in and out by actors to use the full space were more intriguing, and offered more; the large pier that was built, with broken down posts almost felt like it was just in the way at times.

Review - Dealing with Clair @ RADA

What a strange little play. This centres around a couple wanting to sell their flat, and a potential buyer, all of whom are dealing with Clair, the real estate agent. Additionally we meet the couple's "italian girl" nanny, the contractor who comes in to do some work in the house, and Toby, another real estate agent. Each of the brief scenes shows us a little about what the characters want publicly, as well as their potential for indiscretion...most notably Mr James (the buyer) who grows increasingly obsessed with Clair as he delays and draws out the sale.

The performances were strong from all cast members, most notably the actor playing Mr James. He hit the right note between genuine, awkward nice guy, and slightly creepy. As well the design was great, and used the space in the GBS studio ingeniously. Costumes were great fun, set in the 80s.

On a personal note, it was nice to see students who are the result of the kind of training and approach to the work that we have been looking at.

Right Now

We had a class/meeting with Tom on Saturday morning, during which he gave us feedback on how things are going for us from his perspective, and we had a chance to talk a bit about what we want to do after the course, how we feel it is going, etc.

This was a glorious 3 hrs. Everyone in the group is very open and willing to talk about how they are seeing things, which is great. It was interesting to learn how others are perceiving the class, and where areas of frustration have been, and also to see how Tom has perceived our path. What I also found interesting was hearing other students talk about one another's work, what inspires them, what they learn from.

Tom's assessment for me was that I generally am doing good work, and that I just need to trust myself. Wow...me in a nutshell! Notably he commented that I sometimes have an excess of energy that I need to trust myself to use, otherwise it comes out too loud or too quiet. Another assessment was that I need to not be afraid of my opinions and ideas; I had stated that what I want to do is continue devising work, directing, performing if it works in the situation, from which I want to write about the theory of theatre and practice of theatre that is ruminating in my belly, but right now I am not sure of exactly how to articulate it. Tom's encouragement to just trust myself and my ideas/opinions was helpful. I don't know why I have an apprehension, really...I know that I can stand in front of groups and talk about or defend my ideas. I think that somehow committing them to paper (or heaven forbid publishing them!) makes them so much more concrete and intimidating. Need to work at getting over that.

Based on this I have made some minor adjustments to my portfolio approach, and also to my dissertation proposal idea; I am hoping that I can use these tools on the MA course to help crystallize my ideas about theatre and how to approach practice.